Beautiful City

I am sitting here outside by the the pool that overlooks the water. There is a slight breeze coming off the ocean out of the east. The sun is setting, but it's still brilliant enough to warm my bare shoulders. This place, this city, is beautiful. Not in your typical, "this is God's country," way, but it has it's own beauty undefined by nature itself. This city has been made beautiful by God and by the talents that God has bestowed on man.

And yet, I want to leave.

My love for this city hasn't dimmed, rather it has grown stronger. That is not my reason for leaving. I really don't have a specific reason, other than the fact that I want a change. Leaving my home is not a decision I have come to easily or lightly. I have wrestled, struggled, and prayed. People have asked how I could ever leave Fort Lauderdale and the answer is easy. This is my home, the only home I have ever known. I have been very lucky to have parents that settled down and stayed. I have spent 27 years in this city, and I can feel it flowing through my veins. That is why I want to leave. That might not make sense to some of you reading this, and it might make perfect sense to others.

No matter where I live, it can't possibly compare to home. But, that's ok because no matter where I live, I know I always have a home.

And it's beautiful.

Not Like You

Doubts, fears, second thoughts change everything.

People change everything.

I thought I could depend on you, thought you were on my side. You were there yesterday, but now you're gone. Were you ever there in the first place?

Have I pushed you away? I try to be strong, but sometimes it is so hard. I know you hate weakness, I see you cringe at failure.

I'm not like you.

The Magical World of Disney

I just got back from Disney World today and it was so much fun. I went with a bunch of girlfriends to celebrate a birthday, and I'm a bit tired, but really glad that we went.

While we were there we met a gentleman who was a Disney fanatic. We met him while waiting in line for Pirates of the Caribbean. (Disney has changed the ride a bit to include Jack Sparrow, and it looks so much like Johnny Depp, it was slightly disturbing.) Anyway, this man started to tell us all this trivia about the park and Mr. Disney, and it was really fascinating. He was so enthralled by the "magic" of Disney that he was actually moving his family down from Maryland just to be closer. His wife and daughter were still in Maryland, so he was at Disney World by himself because he liked to come when he was lonely. That is quite the commitment.

As I was walking around the park I was thinking about this guy and I started looking around at all of the people. There is always a very diverse crowd at Disney. You've got the Floridians walking around like they're superior because they saved $3 on their ticket price. Then there's the American tourists who are pretty easy to pick out because they normally have lots of cameras, kids, and socks with sandals. Mix in the foreign tourists with their capri wearing males along with the young couples who might even be on their honeymoon. These are all great specimens to watch, however, my personal favorites are the Disney junkies. You know who you are.......

But, not all the Disney junkies, the males in particular. I've always wondered if outside the confines of the magical gates these males are as committed to the Disney cause. Do they wear the Mickey sweatshirts, Goofy hats, and carry the Donald camera case in the real world? And if they do, are they publicly mocked? Does the guy we met in line tell his poker buddies about how Mr. Disney had his nurses map out Disney World on his hospital ceiling with colored push pins? It just all seems a little odd to me.

Maybe I'm being sexist.......or maybe I just don't have enough "magical" men in my life to help me understand.

Seeing Me

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. Galatians 2:20a

I have read this passage in scripture so many times and it has never seemed more real to me then when my pastor brought it up last night at my community group. I understand the passage itself, and the message it's conveying, but I never looked past the surface words to find the deeper meaning.

If I no longer live, then I cease to exist, and no one can see me. Not even God.

And if Christ lives in me, then what you see, instead of me, is Christ.

Which means, if God is looking at me, he sees Christ.

Amazing.

When God looks at me he doesn't see the lying, cheating, mocking, judging, blaspheming, doubting, ugly person that I am. Instead, He sees the Son that He loves.

Amazing.

Coming (or Going)

As we begin a journey, we have plans. Plans for where we're going, plans on how to get there. But what if the plans change? What if we didn't have the right plans in the first place?

Are we coming or going?

Leaving so much behind, but there is so much up ahead. You can barely see it, but it's there. If you look closely, it begins to take shape, slowly. You watch as you get closer wondering if you'll ever see it clearly. Maybe you will, but maybe plans will change.