Barista Shout-out (Part 1)

Ok here goes.....I can't guarantee that all of these will make sense to everyone, and I'm sure that some will fall under the category of "you had to be there," but I think anyone who has ever worked in the service industry can appreciate the frustrations.

We will start with some general shout-outs.....

To male coffee buyers.....ordering a sugar free, nonfat, no foam, single shot, not too hot, soy latte will not get you a date. Or at least a date with the opposite sex. Neither will asking for ice in your coffee.

To female coffee buyers.....although it is more acceptable for the ladies to be a little pickier, please do not order the above latte along with a ham and cheese croissant. You have just negated all of my hard work.

To all coffee buyers....."regular" is not a size. If you ask for a "regular" coffee, I will ask you what size. If you answer "regular," it is then up to me to arbitrarily choose a size and charge you accordingly. I will choose the largest size.

Now on to the specifics.....

To the police woman who parks perpendicular to the parking spots and takes up three spots.....why? Are you in a hurry? Do you think that once in a lifetime call will come through and you will need to make a tire squealing exit? I don't understand.....

To "the writer".....no one likes you. We do more work for your $2 cup of coffee than we do for most people's specialty lattes. And you don't tip.

To the doppio drinking couple.....stop complaining about the price of the croissants, you feed them to your dog. (I've got plenty more to say about these two, but we'll save it for later).

To the businessman who wears bow-ties and hot air balloon embroidered suspenders.....I think I've said enough.

To the guy who orders a cortado, macchiato style.....no one knows what that means. We always make you a cortado.

To the PTA.....please stop spreading fallacies. A plugged in appliance does NOT draw 90% of the electricity it would take while being used and FAU is NOT a private university.

To the man with the fanny pack.....I genuinely like you, but it is extremely uncomfortable to have to wait while you dig out your money from the fanny pack that is located directly over your crotch.

I think that's it for now. But I promise to try and keep this thing going as more interesting people enter the shop. In the meantime, please be kind to your neighborhood barista.