The Big Sewer

I'm gonna go out on a limb right now and say that Shaq is the greatest sports personality of all time. If you don't agree with me, I really don't care, but I'll leave you with some quotes to help change your mind.

"I am a U.S. marshal. I am not allowed to talk about why I arrest people. I do not have to run after the people or tackle them. They always surrender peacefully."

"Me shooting 40 percent at the foul line is just God's way to say nobody's perfect."

"But can't nobody (mess) with me. I'm like toilet paper, Pampers and toothpaste. I'm definitely proven to be effective."

"We want you all to be in shape and look as good as me. Because I will be walking naked on the beach." - On his fitness centers in South Beach

"Some things you just can't question. Like you can't question why two plus two is four... it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I sexy? I don't know."

"That was a foul, young lady. You know that was a foul. Don't ask dumb questions." - On Ben Wallace blocking his shot during Game 5.

"(The Hack-A-Shaq is) just a way of telling me that you can't stop me. Thank you. I appreciate it."

"I'm dominant every night. I come in every night and get beat up. I never make a face when they try to flagrant or hack-a-Shaq me, because I'm not from this planet. Earthlings don't faze me..."

"I told my wife the other day, I’m the Halle Berry of the NBA. Everybody wants this, baby."

"My daughters tackle me harder when I come home... It actually felt pretty good to get hit like that. Thanks, Jerry." - On Stackhouse's hard foul during game 4.

"That has nothing to do with basketball. That's just because I'm sexy." - On the hoopla surrounding his trade to the Heat.

and last but not least........

"I'm known as 'The Big Sewer, because I've got a lot of you-know-what in my game."